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wcerto
Ahonui
USA
5052 Posts |
 Posted - 04/03/2007 : 05:00:49 AM
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This may sound morbid to some...but here goes.
I happend upon an obituary while reading the on-line Honolulu Advertiser. I notced that the death announcements mostly said "aloha attire" or "casual attire". I have never experienced announcements stating what type of clothing should be worn to a funeral (although sometimes, maybe they should, what with some outfits I have seen folks wear to a funeral home). Being the anal type person I am, I obsess about the appropriateness of my outfit for situations such as that.
What is the difference between "aloha attire" or "casual attire"? Why the need to specify clothing?
Thanks for helping me to understand.
Wanda
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Me ke aloha
Malama pono,
Wanda |
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Auntie Maria
Ha`aha`a
USA
1918 Posts |
Posted - 04/03/2007 : 07:15:39 AM
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Of all the funerals I've attended in the islands, attendees wore a wide variety of attire -- regardless of what the obit stated.
Aloha attire usually implies just that, where casual attire implies that attendees can wear whatever they choose.
While those who attend a funeral "in town" may wear aloha attire, it is not at all unusual (especially here on Kaua`i, and -- I assume -- on the other outer islands) to see someone at a funeral who has just come from pulling taro, and is still in their muddy boots, etc.
And another island funeral custom that surprises newcomers, is that we bring our condolence cards _to_ the funeral, with $$$ (cash or check) enclosed in the envelope. Attendees will be asked to sign in and their name (or sign in #) will be marked on the outside of the card's envelope to ensure that the family knows who gave what. At some funerals, mahalo cards are handed to attendees immediately. At others, the mahalo cards are mailed later.
Best of all, island funerals tend to be a celebration of the deceased's life -- expect music, funny stories, and food. |
Auntie Maria
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wcerto
Ahonui
USA
5052 Posts |
Posted - 04/03/2007 : 08:01:09 AM
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Thanks, Auntie Maria. I like the idea of celebrating the deceased's life. Funerals over here are way too maudlin. When Paul's brother passed away a few years back, one of my daughters went to each of the relatives who came back to Paul's mom's house after the cemetery for lunch, and asked them to share one memory of Uncle Alan. We had all kind of funny, silly and touching stories to share. She wrote them all down and then read them to the group. That was the impetus for even more stories about him. My daughter, in her youthful wisdom, paid tribute to her beloved Uncle Alan in a wonderful way, and one that he would have enjoyed. He was very kolohe.
Mahalo for sharing, Auntie Maria.
Wanda |
Me ke aloha
Malama pono,
Wanda |
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javeiro
Lokahi
USA
459 Posts |
Posted - 04/03/2007 : 11:16:21 AM
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I had lived in Hawaii for most all of my life except the past four-plus years and was very familiar with funeral customs there. I recently had occasion to attend my first funeral in Olympia, Washington. The funeral notice said nothing about attire and I, like Wanda; did not want to dress inappropriately. In the end, I opted for an aloha shirt with a blazer over it…….sort of in between casual and semi-formal As it turned out, I didn’t need the blazer. There was all manner of dress there from very casual to suits and ties.
The person who passed away was a well known and well liked gentleman and the funeral was quite large. There was no religious service and there wasn’t any music but they did ask for people to come up and share a memory of the deceased. Though it was slow getting started, many people did ultimately share their stories. Some were poignant or touching, some were funny and some were downright hilarious! All in all, we thought it was a nice remembrance. And yes, I did get up and explain how we came to know this wonderful man, how nice he was to us as strangers in a new place, and what a sense of shock and loss we felt at his passing even though we had known him only for a relatively short time.
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Aloha,
John A. |
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Retro
Ahonui
USA
2368 Posts |
Posted - 04/03/2007 : 1:00:24 PM
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Too hot to wear formal wear in Hawai`i, yeah? (Heavy suit jackets, tuxedos, etc.)
Classy, understated (not brash or loud) aloha shirt with nice long pants; that's what I've worn to Island funerals. |
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