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wcerto
Ahonui
USA
5052 Posts |
 Posted - 04/04/2007 : 09:23:14 AM
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I have been working for some time on writing a mele to honor the `Ohana Pahinui. This is what I have come up with. For those of you with language skills, can you please critique this for me and provide constructive criticism. I am not thin skinned and I will not be offended when you tell me I have done an injustice to the `olelo. The bottom line is that I have tried to pay honor to the Pahinui family and talk about the magic they weave with their music. I am trying to talk about many voices as opposed to big voices.
Mahalo.
Wanda
Nui Leo o Waimanalo
By Wanda Certo
Hanohano `Ohana Pahinui
Nui leo o Waimanalo
Himeni nani a me kiho`alu
Luna mai `ole na mele nani
O `oukou ka makani Polinahe
I lawe mai i ku`u poli
Kupoki o lakou hana mana
Ho`okalakupua me lakou leo
Ha`ina `ia mai ana ka puana
O maua `Ohana aloha
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Me ke aloha
Malama pono,
Wanda |
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marzullo
`Olu`olu
USA
923 Posts |
Posted - 04/04/2007 : 11:33:23 AM
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wanda,
i'll leave this to da experts, but i'm a professor, so like to expound :D
i think youd' say "nui ka leo" .... but then again, songs are different.
i like how you link across the lines in the first two verses.
it would be fun to work in the meaning of "pahinui" = "big knife".
aloha,
keith
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Edited by - marzullo on 04/04/2007 11:34:19 AM |
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slackkey
Lokahi
USA
280 Posts |
Posted - 04/04/2007 : 12:01:32 PM
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"Eh wassssup!!! Keith?!!!!!! "Aloha Wanda, Sarah and Reid, could be a really great help to you. Not only do they play some really wonderful Slack Key, Sarah also speaks the language." How'zit Sarah and Reid! Really miss all you! "Especially you Keith"! Love you guys!
slackkey Bill |
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marzullo
`Olu`olu
USA
923 Posts |
Posted - 04/04/2007 : 12:18:33 PM
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bill !!!!! we're doing well, how about you? we were just talking about you. it's been forever since we've see you. we'll be around in june before keola's camp - it would be so great to see you. susie promises to make those chocolate chip banana cookies.
aloha! keith
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alika207
Ha`aha`a
USA
1260 Posts |
Posted - 04/07/2007 : 09:24:36 AM
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| Something I would say is that you might consider having each verse consist of 4 lines instead of 2, but then again, I don't know what the tune you've come up with is. Could you somehow record a demo of you singing it and send it to us as a file? That would be fantastic! Mahalo! |
He kehau ho'oma'ema'e ke aloha.
'Alika / Polinahe |
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alika207
Ha`aha`a
USA
1260 Posts |
Posted - 04/07/2007 : 3:19:45 PM
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| Aloha mai e Wanda, I just sent you a leka uila with my interpretation of it written out for you. Please note that some of the translations were done based on what came out of online dictionaries. Hope it helps. Mahalo nui loa! |
He kehau ho'oma'ema'e ke aloha.
'Alika / Polinahe |
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wcerto
Ahonui
USA
5052 Posts |
Posted - 04/23/2007 : 11:45:16 AM
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Here is rev. A. of the mele. Any critiques/comments? The numbers at the end of the stanzas are the number of syllables. I tried to keep it pretty even, and the ones that aren't exact, I figures when a tune is set to it, that we could hold notes for a couple of beats or something. Those of you with language skills, perhaps you can tell me if it makes any sense.
Mahalo
Nui na Leo o Waimanalo
By Wanda Certo
Hanohano ka `Ohana Pahinui 12
Nui na leo o Waimanalo 9
Ho`olono na himeni nani 10
a me kiho`alu nahenahe10
Ua alu like mai mahele 10
na mele i ho`opakele 9
Na mele no na nui manu 9
Nu`a kanaka aloha ‘oukou 10
Ha`ina `ia mai ka puana 10
O ka maua `ohana aloha 10
Ha`ina `ia mai ka puana 10
Panepo`o kou `ohana 8
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Me ke aloha
Malama pono,
Wanda |
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alika207
Ha`aha`a
USA
1260 Posts |
Posted - 04/23/2007 : 1:07:43 PM
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| Sing it to us, please! Haha! |
He kehau ho'oma'ema'e ke aloha.
'Alika / Polinahe |
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hawaiianmusiclover06
`Olu`olu
USA
562 Posts |
Posted - 04/23/2007 : 1:26:45 PM
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Aloha Wanda! I wish you can sing it for us! The words are awesome! Take care!
Alana :) |
Aloha Kakou, maluhia a me aloha mau loa (Hello everyone, peace and love forever) |
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