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javeiro
Lokahi
USA
459 Posts |
 Posted - 06/25/2007 : 05:44:02 AM
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My son and I played to our first real audience last Friday. Though it wasn’t a very happy occasion, it felt good, and it felt right to be there playing at my grandson’s memorial service.
Where do I even begin? Our precious four year old grandson Kaiea Matthew Allen passed away on the morning of June 15th. Though he had a couple of great months after getting home from his most recent hospitalization, his health had recently started to deteriorate. He had gone to school as usual on Friday a couple of weeks ago but started looking tired and weak that same evening. We had everyone over to our house for a family get-together that Saturday and he had lots of fun playing with his cousins even though he wasn’t quite as active as usual. He played with his two young cousins and rode his wagon to pick up the mail with Grandma, one of his most favorite jobs. And he visited again on Monday with Mommy and Daddy and rode the ATV with Grandma and Daddy, signing “more” every time we tried to stop.
But then he just began getting more tired and weak and slept more and more. His team of doctors told us that this was just the natural progression of Kai's various conditions. We had a confirmation of that diagnosis from another team of doctors in Portland on Monday too. They said they would be willing to try surgery but Kai was very weak and would have little chance of survival undergoing even the tests required prior to surgery and still no chance for a permanent heart repair. While it was an unimaginably difficult decision for his parents to make, they felt that to put him through all of the pain and suffering of yet another operation with such a very small chance of slightly prolonging the inevitable would be very selfish of them. And so they decided to try to keep him as comfortable and pain-free as possible in the comfort and security of his own home surrounded by the people who loved him most. It was a very brave and selfless thing that they did for Kai and we are extremely proud of them.
We were at Kai’s bedside constantly during his last week. He loved listening to us play the guitar and so my son and I took turns playing for him. It seemed to calm him and he mostly just slept. The night before he left us, he awoke for a short time and seemed more calm and aware of us than before; and each of us got a goodnight kiss from Kai before we left their home that night. He fell asleep, never awoke again and quietly slipped away at 10:48 AM Friday morning in the arms of his Mommy and Daddy and surrounded and supported by those who loved him most dearly.
Kai loved listening to music and especially the guitar. No matter what he was doing, when he heard the guitar he’d immediately scoot over to sit right in front of me and watch my fingers move on the strings. Sometimes he would reach up and I’d bend over to let him brush the strings. At other times, he’d pick up a spoon and pretend to play along with me, bouncing up and down to the music! Lately he’d taken to strumming a ukulele whenever we played.
Kai’s memorial service was beautiful. My brother had returned from a trip to Hawaii and brought many of the flowers that his Mom and Dad wanted for his farewell. We shared stories of Kai’s life and yes, we played for our first real audience. Though I felt some butterflies before we started, I just thought of Kai and how much he loved our music and my fingers seemed to find the right notes. We had found a fitting resting place for him with a view of vine maple, alder and evergreen trees much like his own back yard, and I played for him again as they lowered his little casket into the ground.
Kaiea of course is Hawaiian and it means “rising tide” or “rising sea”. And from the moment Kai entered our world, he was a brave little boy who lived up to the spirit of his name. As tiny as he was, he was a tough fighter, never complained and he showed us the true meaning of strength and tenacity. Our family was always close but Kai somehow managed to bring us even closer.
From shortly after Kai’s birth, we all have known that this day would come, but not this soon. And it’s still impossible to adequately prepare for it and it doesn’t make it any easier to accept. Kai has been the center of his parent’s entire world, and ours, for his short time with us. Our own hearts are broken and we feel helpless to make things any better for his Mommy and Daddy.
Kai’s Caring Bridge web page: http://www.caringbridge.org/wa/kai/
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Aloha,
John A. |
Edited by - javeiro on 07/12/2007 5:06:39 PM |
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RWD
`Olu`olu
USA
850 Posts |
Posted - 06/25/2007 : 06:12:37 AM
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I am so sorry to hear of this sad event in your life.
I wish a joyful occation for your next time out.
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Peter Medeiros
`Olu`olu
546 Posts |
Posted - 06/25/2007 : 06:15:56 AM
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Dear John,
I am so sorry to hear of Kai's passing. My heart goes out to you and your family.
Peter M |
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Admin
Pupule
USA
4551 Posts |
Posted - 06/25/2007 : 07:01:38 AM
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Dear John,
Deepest, heartfelt condolences to you, your son and family. Thanks for sharing Kai's memory here as many of us recall you posting previously about recording slack key for him. I am sure that you and your son's perfomance was a most special one for all. |
Andy |
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Retro
Ahonui
USA
2368 Posts |
Posted - 06/25/2007 : 07:29:58 AM
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| John - Lori & I are so saddened to hear the news of your family's loss. I can not imagine being able to hold myself together for a "public performance" in similar circumstances. The same reservoir of inner strength that helped you to do that will serve you well through this sorrowful time. We grieve with you. =Gregg= |
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wcerto
Ahonui
USA
5052 Posts |
Posted - 06/25/2007 : 08:39:31 AM
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John - your story of Kai has touched me deep down in my heart. I, too, grieve with you. How courageous you are to share his story with us. It is so sad for a young life to be taken away ...you think of the promise unfulfilled. However brief his young life was, he has left a legacy and fond memories that will be recalled time and again. The hurt gets less, but the good memories will always be there. Bless you and your family.
Me ke aloha,
Wanda |
Me ke aloha
Malama pono,
Wanda |
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noeau
Ha`aha`a
USA
1105 Posts |
Posted - 06/25/2007 : 09:36:26 AM
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| I too am saddened to hear such news. Please accept my sincere condolences. There are many reasons to play music. All I know is it is hoped that any performance brings joy and gladness to the listener. I am sure that is what you accomplished. Thanks for sharing. |
No'eau, eia au he mea pa'ani wale nō. |
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thumbstruck
Ahonui
USA
2177 Posts |
Posted - 06/25/2007 : 09:42:46 AM
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| I hurt for your ohana. It is difficult to feel helpless. You shared life's joy when you could with Kaiea. Life is unfair and sometimes answers are not there for the questions we ask. We share joys and tragedies. God will put things into perspective. |
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kihoalukid
Lokahi
USA
290 Posts |
Posted - 06/25/2007 : 10:00:07 AM
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| Condolences John, your the best grandad ever, Lee. |
Lee |
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rendesvous1840
Ha`aha`a
USA
1055 Posts |
Posted - 06/25/2007 : 12:29:08 PM
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So sad to hear, but what a loving tribute to Kai's memory your letter is. As the time passes, may the memories of the joy Kai took from the love and beauty around him, and the joy he gave to his loving ohana remain in all your hearts.
Paul |
"A master banjo player isn't the person who can pick the most notes.It's the person who can touch the most hearts." Patrick Costello |
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RJS
Ha`aha`a
1635 Posts |
Posted - 06/25/2007 : 7:48:57 PM
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John,
Don't really have words, other than perhaps if there were anything I could do to alleviate your pain, and your family's, I wouldn't hesitate to do it.
I had a Buddhist teacher, a man who was considered a very developed being, who once told me that children die early because they came to earth needing only a short time before they could reach total enlightenment. Enilghtenment, paradise, however you call it. My wife and I pray that Kai is there. |
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Podagee57
Lokahi
USA
280 Posts |
Posted - 06/26/2007 : 05:43:10 AM
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| Tears began streaming down my cheeks as I read Kai's story. So sad to lose someone so young and so dear to you. I wish there was some way we could ease your pain. Kai's memory will be alive every time you pick up your guitar and play. Music can be so healing sometimes. Bless you and your family. |
What? You mean high "E" is the TOP string. No way dude! That changes everything! |
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hawaiianmusiclover06
`Olu`olu
USA
562 Posts |
Posted - 06/26/2007 : 7:04:52 PM
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After I started reading Kai's story tears began flowing down my cheeks. My condolences to your family but always remember that Kaiea will be forever in your hearts whenever you pick up that guitar. Just remember all the good times that you and Kaiea had.
Alana :) |
Aloha Kakou, maluhia a me aloha mau loa (Hello everyone, peace and love forever) |
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Ginny
Aloha
43 Posts |
Posted - 06/26/2007 : 10:38:24 PM
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Javero,
Its sounds like you brought a lot of beauty into his passing. I hope you have comfort in knowing that. Thanks for sharing this experience with us. So sorry for your loss.
Ginny |
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javeiro
Lokahi
USA
459 Posts |
Posted - 06/27/2007 : 2:19:23 PM
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| Mahalo to all of you who have posted messages here, those who have sent email messages as well as those who have read it and just don't know what to say. There really are no great words of wisdom at times like these but it does help to know that others are thinking kind thoughts. Kai really did love this music and it did have a calming effect on him, especially during all those times when he was in the hospital and particularly during his last days at home. |
Aloha,
John A. |
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Pops
Lokahi
USA
387 Posts |
Posted - 07/09/2007 : 1:59:41 PM
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John,
My thoughts and prayers are with you this evening. Peace be with you. |
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