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fred d
Akahai
USA
60 Posts |
 Posted - 07/31/2012 : 04:52:26 AM
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Last monday My son commited sucude I was notified early tuesday (2:30 morning on ukukele practice day needless to say we didn't go. Darwin lived in a strainge area in Oragan with just a Po box. they supported them selfs by picking up can ect! along the highway and paning for gold some were recieving SSI. The military wil bury him if I have him creamenated $1100 dollars in a cript somewhere in Washington? Him mother doesn't want to be involved She is a lost Hippy in the California someplace I haven't heard from her for 15 years. I would like to have a type of hawiian funeral for him here in Sacramento But I seems a little strainge to have a funeral for two. My wife and I love him and tryed to help even inviting him to move in but everything we suggested he put down? This last week has been HELL and we feel lost Is a couple of lie and a hawiian prayer enought to send a love on on. Thankin advance for any suggestions and letting mr cry s little at 70= we must reach out to the groups we care about love you all fred  
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fred davis |
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Admin
Pupule
USA
4551 Posts |
Posted - 07/31/2012 : 06:21:03 AM
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Fred,
I am so sorry to hear what you are going through. I cannot even begin to imagine. My thoughts and prayers go out to you and your family. |
Andy |
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guitar yogi
Akahai
Kiribati
67 Posts |
Posted - 07/31/2012 : 10:06:59 AM
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| Fred, I'm very sorry about your loss. If you need to travel to western Oregon from California, I might be able to help you in some way- my farm is real close to interstate I-5 (45 miles south of Eugene). You're welcome to stay here for a few days if you might need free lodging along the main highway. My prayers are with you- aloha, Matthew |
Edited by - guitar yogi on 07/31/2012 10:08:38 AM |
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TerryLiberty
Lokahi
USA
207 Posts |
Posted - 07/31/2012 : 12:38:10 PM
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Fred:
I'm so very sorry for your loss! A couple of leis and a Hawaiian prayer may not seem like much but if it's given with aloha, I'm sure it will be enough. We'll include a couple of prayers from our house as well.
God bless you, your wife and your son's mom wherever she is.
Aloha. |
Terry
Olympia, WA
Forever a haumana |
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ypochris
Lokahi
USA
398 Posts |
Posted - 07/31/2012 : 1:19:57 PM
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Fred,
Nothing compares to the loss of a child. No parent should have to suffer their children departing before them.
My empathy is extreme- I lost a daughter as a young child, and a son as an adult not yet out of his teens. So I have some idea of what you are going through, and know there is really nothing you can say. All I have to offer is that as hard as it is, as impossible as it may seem for things to get better, for the pain to end, as the years pass it does become easier. From thinking every moment of nothing else, to every minute, to every hour, and then although you never thought it would happen you realize an entire day went by without feeling the pain. If you should live so long, eventually it might grow to a week, although after thirty years I don't think a month could ever go by without crying.
Fred, my heart goes out to you. My mother died recently, and we let her go with a homemade ceremony where we said a few words of appreciation for her life then sent her ashes out to sea from my parent's land. We followed with leis and flowers, and it seemed like a fitting closing. Sometimes when the pain is great, less is more. Play some music. Do what your heart calls you to do.
And know that the pain will slowly. slowly ease, even if it can never go away. |
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haolebrownie
Aloha
USA
18 Posts |
Posted - 07/31/2012 : 2:29:33 PM
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I don't know you Fred, but I just wanted to tell you that I am very sorry for your loss. You'll be in the thoughts of those in Hawaii (including me).
Joe |
Kī Hōʻalu and ʻUkulele Soul |
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ricdoug
`Olu`olu
USA
513 Posts |
Posted - 07/31/2012 : 7:42:31 PM
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| Condolences on the loss of your child, Fred. Write and play a song about your feelings from this tragic event and include the positive qualities of your beloved son in the lyrics. As a veteran myself, I understand what effects military service can have on the human mind. May I suggest the military burial in Washington and that you have a wake for your son with photo's and speeches about your memories at a kanikapila with your friends in Sacramento. You can visit your son's burial spot vin the future and play and sing the song you wrote for him then. Your son will always be with you in spirit. We send our prayers and well wishes to you and yours, Fred. Ric |
It's easier to ask for forgiveness, than permission! |
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sirduke58
`Olu`olu
USA
993 Posts |
Posted - 07/31/2012 : 10:58:34 PM
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| Condolences on your devastating loss Fred. I've been dealing with a close friend the past couple of years who is suicidal. It's really unfortunate how they rationalize a permanent solution to a temporary problem. Mahalo for reaching out to your Taropatch ohana here, we are all honored that you hold us in such high esteem. Please know that all of us here wish you the best in dealing with your monumental loss. Sincere aloha to you & yours Fred. |
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thumbstruck
Ahonui
USA
2168 Posts |
Posted - 08/01/2012 : 04:44:28 AM
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| Human language is inadequate for conveying feelings at a time like this. Like ypochris said, time will frame the sad event, but on erase it. As my Grandma used to say, "All the cards haven't been played, yet." We all lose loved ones, but that binds us closer to the loved ones we still have. God will not disappoint. |
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Sarah
`Olu`olu
571 Posts |
Posted - 08/01/2012 : 11:36:18 AM
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I am so sorry to hear your sad news, Fred. My heart goes out to you in your shock and loss.
I think leis and prayers from your hearts, and what is in your hearts will be heard.
You and your wife are in my thoughts and prayers.
with aloha,
Sarah |
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fred d
Akahai
USA
60 Posts |
Posted - 08/01/2012 : 1:21:39 PM
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| Mahalo to all for your prayers. Time will pass and so will I and as a rose blooms it soon dies and lofe goes on for those who try |
fred davis |
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slipry1
Ha`aha`a
USA
1511 Posts |
Posted - 08/01/2012 : 4:59:19 PM
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| So sad ,so sad! If you are coming through Seattle, look me up. I give Hawaiian steel lessons here, passing on everything I have learned form Alan Akaka. |
keaka |
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cmdrpiffle
`Olu`olu
USA
553 Posts |
Posted - 09/02/2012 : 2:47:40 PM
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| Fred, I just saw this. With warm white light and aloha to you. I don't know how the funeral turned out, but to you...calling on Ohana in a time of need, lots of us are here. Warm thoughts on the loss of your Son brother. |
my Poodle is smarter than your honor student |
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Julie H
Ha`aha`a
USA
1206 Posts |
Posted - 09/03/2012 : 8:29:51 PM
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Dear Fred,
What helps me through times of extreme trials is to write my thoughts down, among the tears that fall on the paper. Little bits of poems, memories, songs you used to sing together. I have a sketch book where I write down very personal aches and things, a drawing now and then, lines from a love song, etc.
What is very important in a suicide is closure. A small memorial, a lei, a dream cast upon the waters, a fond memory offered up to the sky. Without closure you will forever be chained to the sorrow. I know. I've been on this journey, not with my child but with a sweetheart. And I feel some of your hopelessness and sadness. Please remember that you will never walk that road of sorrow alone, there are people here on this site, and those close around you, who will walk that walk with you. I wish I were there to comfort you in person. Words are failing me now but my thoughts will be with you.
Julie
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Please help
