Author |
Topic |
PoiDog
Lokahi
245 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2008 : 10:43:36 AM
|
I remembah wen I was married da las time. Dat one (numbah-2) she said dat we cannot afford the beer anymore and I need to quit. "But, Hon...I gotta give up my beeah?" "Yes," she said firmly.
An den one day...I cought her putting on eye shadow! Den...she wen put on lipstik!
"Wassup wit dat?" I said to her. "How come I gotta give up my beeah an you no need give up da eye stick an lipstik?" She told me, "I do it to make myself beautiful for YOU!"
"No need!" I said, "Dat's wat da beeah is fo..." Tings went down hill from dea!
|
Aloha, da Poi Dog |
|
wcerto
Ahonui
USA
5052 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2008 : 12:29:33 PM
|
Poi Dog -- no wonder it was "I was married da las time". Another marriage rule. SHE makes the rules. You follow them. No whimpering. It is not manly.
I wonder if you are one of those who answers honestly when she asks "Does this mu`umu`u make my okole look big?"
And remember, if you ask her what she wants for a birthday present and she says, "Oh, you don't have to get me anything", she really means, "You'd better get me a present and it had better be good and you'd better be able to read my mind to figure out what I want, because if you really love me you would instinctively know what I want." Whew. Maintaining relationships is hard. |
Me ke aloha Malama pono, Wanda |
|
|
PoiDog
Lokahi
245 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2008 : 12:46:51 PM
|
quote: Originally posted by wcerto
I wonder if you are one of those who answers honestly when she asks "Does this mu`umu`u make my okole look big?"
I gotta be honest 'cause..."Azz how I like 'em..."
quote: Originally posted by wcerto
And remember, if you ask her what she wants for a birthday present and she says, "Oh, you don't have to get me anything", she really means, "You'd better get me a present and it had better be good and you'd better be able to read my mind to figure out what I want, because if you really love me you would instinctively know what I want." Whew. Maintaining relationships is hard.
Las yeeeah I wen buy her one new '51 Willys Jeep so she can go pig hunting and no need take my new F-150. Dis yeeeah, I goin make her one bran new opihi knife.
|
Aloha, da Poi Dog |
Edited by - PoiDog on 05/13/2008 1:18:01 PM |
|
|
wcerto
Ahonui
USA
5052 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2008 : 1:25:22 PM
|
I do believe one year for anniversary Paul got me a Buck knife. Hah - still married, 35 years! |
Me ke aloha Malama pono, Wanda |
|
|
ypochris
Lokahi
USA
398 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2008 : 4:18:19 PM
|
Poi Dog- soun li da kine wahine! Smoke pork 'n opihi fo go wid da beah, stead a no mo!
Wanda- Many locals wouldn't give a loved one a knife- due to Japanese custom that to give a knife means you want to cut off the relationship.
Chris
|
|
|
PoiDog
Lokahi
245 Posts |
Posted - 05/13/2008 : 5:35:35 PM
|
quote: Originally posted by ypochris
Poi Dog- soun li da kine wahine! Smoke pork 'n opihi fo go wid da beah, stead a no mo!
Hooo, brah! Opihi and wild rivah watercress soup. Hoooo...I get da big time drool! Honey..You bettah git goin! |
Aloha, da Poi Dog |
|
|
Puna
Lokahi
USA
227 Posts |
Posted - 05/14/2008 : 07:27:12 AM
|
I gave my wife a set of high quality chef knives for her birthday. A friend told me I made a big mistake:
"Remember...you always hurt the one you love. And now you've armed her!" |
Puna |
|
|
rendesvous1840
Ha`aha`a
USA
1055 Posts |
Posted - 05/14/2008 : 08:34:03 AM
|
I never gave no knife for anniversary-it was birthday. And she had told me one day when we were fishing, "If I had my own knife, I wouldn't have to always borrow yours." Not my fault she quit fishing. And look what signals she sent! How big a hint got to be to hit me on the head. At least I never expected her to clean the fish. (Mostly not big enoughj to bother with.) No cutting off this relationship, too many years invested. We even outlasted the Judge what married us.His girlfriend showed up at the hospital all beat up, said he did it. When the police found out, they arrested him. When his wife found out, she divorced him. When the 'nother judge found out, he sent him to the hoosegow. And when the Bar Assn found out, they disbarred him. But we're still married. He shoulda just gave her a knife. He was better off if she stabbed him and got it over with. Paul |
"A master banjo player isn't the person who can pick the most notes.It's the person who can touch the most hearts." Patrick Costello |
|
|
guitarded
Ha`aha`a
USA
1799 Posts |
Posted - 05/14/2008 : 10:18:54 AM
|
quote: Originally posted by rendesvous1840
I never gave no knife for anniversary-it was birthday. And she had told me one day when we were fishing, "If I had my own knife, I wouldn't have to always borrow yours." Not my fault she quit fishing. And look what signals she sent! How big a hint got to be to hit me on the head. At least I never expected her to clean the fish. (Mostly not big enoughj to bother with.) No cutting off this relationship, too many years invested. We even outlasted the Judge what married us.His girlfriend showed up at the hospital all beat up, said he did it. When the police found out, they arrested him. When his wife found out, she divorced him. When the 'nother judge found out, he sent him to the hoosegow. And when the Bar Assn found out, they disbarred him. But we're still married. He shoulda just gave her a knife. He was better off if she stabbed him and got it over with.
"Pass the danged butter mochi"
|
|
Edited by - guitarded on 05/14/2008 2:46:54 PM |
|
|
wcerto
Ahonui
USA
5052 Posts |
Posted - 05/14/2008 : 10:43:22 AM
|
Ed - that is so funny! How you put our faces on there? I look like my 61 yr. old sister in that picture! You've got me rolling on the floor~ But be careful you no scare Duke and Jay. They might not want to hang around with us if they think we are not "hep".
Now I know what Paul will look like when he has that giant girigiri. |
Me ke aloha Malama pono, Wanda |
|
|
Mika ele
Ha`aha`a
USA
1493 Posts |
Posted - 05/14/2008 : 1:04:26 PM
|
I gave my wife a brand new steam iron for her birthday once! (signed, Clueless in Calrsbad)
. . . imagine . . . I'm still married . . . to the same woman
MAN I must be good lookin! |
E nana, e ho'olohe. E pa'a ka waha, e hana ka lima. |
|
|
wcerto
Ahonui
USA
5052 Posts |
Posted - 05/15/2008 : 12:39:40 PM
|
Mika ele - Well, you are good lookin', but it takes more than a pretty face to stay married for long time. It takes a pretty heart and a fun sense of humor. I think you have both. As long as she didn't bean you over the head with the steam iron. Oh, and if it was Rowenta Brand, that would be even better. $$$$$$$ |
Me ke aloha Malama pono, Wanda |
|
|
wcerto
Ahonui
USA
5052 Posts |
Posted - 05/15/2008 : 2:11:50 PM
|
And I ain't scared of no moke teddy bears. I have one of my own, you know.
When we went to Santo Domingo in Dominican Republic, they thought Paul was Fidel. When we went to S. Carolina for our daughter's graduation from Basic Training, she told her friends to look out for a guy who looked like Jerry Garcia. But he is only one snuggly teddy bear.
OK, now gotta finish packing. What to wear on the plane? Dilemma. Cold here. Warm Hawai`i. Capris? Jeans? Long Sleeves? Short Sleeves. No sleeves and flabby upper arms? So many decisions, so little time. |
Me ke aloha Malama pono, Wanda |
|
|
hapuna
Lokahi
USA
159 Posts |
Posted - 05/15/2008 : 3:43:47 PM
|
quote: Originally posted by wcerto
OK, now gotta finish packing. What to wear on the plane? Dilemma. Cold here. Warm Hawai`i. Capris? Jeans? Long Sleeves? Short Sleeves. No sleeves and flabby upper arms? So many decisions, so little time.
Eh no forget da slippas. Makes it easy to go thru TSA screening!! |
hapuna Seattle |
|
|
wcerto
Ahonui
USA
5052 Posts |
Posted - 05/15/2008 : 11:02:41 PM
|
VOG supposed to be gone by Tuesday. I figure it is probably like the neighborhood in Cleveland where the steel mills stay. One local newspaper dude says it is where the fall out from the air turns the wash rust color while hanging on the clothesline. We are used to dirty air where you can't even see the top of Terminal Tower. The news guys tell us when the air is bad and tell you to stay inside. I shouldn't have breathing problems. And the heart doc said I can have one umbrella drink per day. Woo-hoo. |
Me ke aloha Malama pono, Wanda |
|
|
ypochris
Lokahi
USA
398 Posts |
Posted - 05/16/2008 : 03:53:02 AM
|
For people from mainland cities, Hawaiians' complaints about the VOG are a joke. Many places never see air as clean as Kona on a voggy day.
That said, Puna side it can be serious when you are directly upwind of a low lying plume. Worst is when you go out to visit Madam Pele and the wind shifts and hits you with a direct plast from a window or sulpher crack. Gasp and choke! I always hated the Halemaumau overlook because they put the trail right upwind of a sulpher vent to give you a good taste of volcano. That is the place where Pele blew a hole in the roof a little while back and now it is the biggest plume- they won't let you near it any more.
Worst of all is when the geothermal plant blows a pipe- I was five miles away at Kahena once when I got hit by the plume- doubled over and threw up, it was so bad. Made it up the pali somehow and made sure my parents had left already, then headed home to Hamakua and didn't go back until I was sure they had fixed it right- didn't ever want to experience that again! I was sick for days. They have this idiot model that assumes that the gas expands evenly in all directions, and claim there is no effect outside a four mile radius. So they evacuate everyone within four miles, upwind or down. Then the plume goes in a narrow band straight down wind- surprise!- and poisons people many miles down the coast (like me!) who were never warned. Luckily they haven't had a blowout for years...
Chris
|
|
|
Topic |
|