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cpatch
Ahonui
USA
2187 Posts |
 Posted - 02/07/2007 : 09:32:07 AM
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| 56. Your hotshot, guitar-shredding, fretboard-memorizing friends can't play anything better than the melody for "Mary Had a Little Lamb" on your guitar. |
Craig
My goal is to be able to play as well as people think I can. |
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wcerto
Ahonui
USA
5052 Posts |
Posted - 02/07/2007 : 10:46:36 AM
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--you get blown away when you see someone playing left handed and upside down (like Bla or Lono).
You know at least part of the words to just about 70% of Hawaiian mele -- "ha`ina `ia mai ana kapuana"
--You know "Hana hou" doesn't mean a lady of the evening from Maui |
Me ke aloha
Malama pono,
Wanda |
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Reid
Ha`aha`a
Andorra
1526 Posts |
Posted - 02/07/2007 : 12:36:06 PM
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Wanda, you da bess! Ho da funee...
...Reid |
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thumbstruck
Ahonui
USA
2165 Posts |
Posted - 02/07/2007 : 12:46:58 PM
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If you know "chalangalang" isn't doowop.
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cpatch
Ahonui
USA
2187 Posts |
Posted - 02/07/2007 : 2:14:58 PM
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| 59. When someone asks if your guitar is tuned you respond, "what to?" |
Craig
My goal is to be able to play as well as people think I can. |
Edited by - cpatch on 02/07/2007 2:15:32 PM |
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Mika ele
Ha`aha`a
USA
1493 Posts |
Posted - 02/07/2007 : 2:40:09 PM
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cpatch - BESTEST ONE YET!
crack me up. . .
hana hou . . . LOL |
E nana, e ho'olohe. E pa'a ka waha, e hana ka lima. |
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Bwop
Lokahi
USA
244 Posts |
Posted - 02/07/2007 : 7:03:32 PM
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-- when Auntie Mary's Dictionairy is in your carry-on luggage
-- when mnemonics like "Could God Condone English Green Beans" and "Can't Get Enough God A-mighty Eclairs" make sense to you
-- you eat stuffs before you ask what it is
-- you don't practice, you play
-- you go places just because you know songs about them
-- when carrying your guitar case, you expect kamaaina rates
-- you feel like you could jam with most anyone, but most anyone couldn't jam with you
-- when your spouse breaks a nail, and it's "oh, too bad", but you break one and it's "OH MY GOD HOW COULD THIS HAPPEN RIGHT BEFORE A SHOW I CAN'T BELIEVE THIS...."
-- you hear a few notes of a slackkey song, and may not know the song, but you know who's playing it
-- if the thought has ever crossed your mind to list your guitars as "dependants" on your 1040 (Ha! You really did, didn't you???)
-- if 50% of the mileage on your car is from shows, workshops and kanikapila
-- if it rankles you when someone plays a song and doesn't talkstory about it
-- when you've made a new 'genre' for your iPod labeled "Hawaiian"
-- when the children in your nursery school on the mainland drive their pretend cars/boats/trains to places like "Makena Beach", "Pahala" and "Polihale" (this one's true)
-- you answer the phone with "aloha kaua", and all your mainland friends know fifty or sixty hawaiian words just so they can talk to you
-- when someone asks you for directions, and as you gesticulate with your hands, your feet start to move, too
-- when you've just given someone directions, they ask you, "What's 'mauka'?"
-- when you play a C chord in F but think of it as D because you jus' slacked Taro (makes sense to me...)
-- when you're not afraid to venture "over the twelth fret"
-- when you take a workshop and things like "top string" and "first string" are indiscriminate references but you know what they mean, anyway
-- if your dog absolutely never steals food off the counter unless you make kalua pig
-- if your kids play reggae, bluegrass, rock, ska, blues, metal AND a credible version of Opihi Moemoe
-- if you know the song sounds like it's about a mountain, but it's not about a mountain, it's about a boat, and YOU know it's not about a mountain or a boat, it's about a woman
-- if it rains on your parade and you now get it's a blessing
-- when half the stars you recognize you know by their hawaiian names
-- whenever you go to a new place, meet a new person, find a teaching in the weather or eat something fantastic- you immediately want to write a song
-- when it's a rarity to come away from a show that hasn't made you eye wattah at least once
-- if you announce, "I'm going to blow the pu" and no one in your family snickers
-- if when you change strings, you get stuck five or six times while slacking the strings trying to discover yet another tunning
-- if most of your acquaintances know what guitar you'll probably get next
-- if someone asks you what "Slack Key" is, and your answer includes terms like "vaqueros", "the King's kapu", "50 things they did with Ti leaf", "any guitar", "over 200", "pipi lulaby", "nahenahe", "the AIR", "love of my life", "'ai pa'a" and they don't get to ask another question for ten minutes
-- if you put on a raincoat and chuckle 'cause you're a "slacker in a slicker"
-- when you have a question about the guage of the second low D on a 12 string and know sixteen people you could ask for info
-- if you know "Gabby" is a proper noun and not an adjective
-- if you take off skin oil from the fret board with fine steel wool and windex, rub a #2 pencil on the groves in the nut, use two grades of cloth for polishing, don't polish the neck, humidify in the soundhole, adjust the tension of the tunning keys, etc., every two weeks but it's been a year since you washed your car
-- if you use 'Aloha' as a noun, verb and adjective
-- when your luggage ensemble includes two coolers and a paper bag
-- if your culinary feets have included digging a hole in your backyard
-- when you think people have proprietary relationships with letters, like "Cyril's C", or "Led's R", and some are trangient, like "Raymond's G is really a B"
-- if you have an opinion about Tab, but not Fresca
-- if you currently know if you can duck walk
-- when a fashion problem for you when going out is deciding whether a kihei is appropriate
-- if you've bought 167% more tuners than any of your "standard" friends
-- when a significant percentage of common words you use are redundancies
-- if your car has 27 bumper stickers which are all incomprehensible to people in other cars
-- if someone has asked you what you want to drink, and you've responded "awa", "swipe" or "okolehao"
-- when someone farts and you respond "ka makani hohono" or "kela mea whiffa"
-- if you don't do anything when they play "The Star Spangled Banner" on TV, but do stand up and sway if they play "Hawai'i Aloha"
-- when someone says they're going to give a "key-note address" and you're dissapointed when they only talk
-- when it's no big deal to come up with at least 50 ways that you may be a slacker
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Bwop |
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catheglass
Lokahi
USA
312 Posts |
Posted - 02/07/2007 : 9:00:16 PM
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44) when they call you Auntie, you're honored, not insulted
45) C Maunaloa, Cyril's D, George's F are your favorite "keys"
46)you don't remember how to play chords
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cathe |
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PearlCityBoy
Lokahi
USA
432 Posts |
Posted - 02/07/2007 : 9:09:01 PM
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--When you read BWOP's posting and you actually understand and can relate to all 50 of them (pretty scary).
--After browsing through this thread you say to yourself, "Phew ... And I thought I was a slack key nut."
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cpatch
Ahonui
USA
2187 Posts |
Posted - 02/07/2007 : 9:53:04 PM
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-- When someone asks you to chime in you grab your guitar and reach for the 5th, 7th, or 12th fret.
-- The nails on your left hand look like a guy's, the ones on your left hand look like a girl's. |
Craig
My goal is to be able to play as well as people think I can. |
Edited by - cpatch on 02/08/2007 11:24:07 AM |
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thumbstruck
Ahonui
USA
2165 Posts |
Posted - 02/08/2007 : 05:07:14 AM
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| If you read these postings and realize you're not alone. |
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Fingerpickin
Lokahi
117 Posts |
Posted - 02/08/2007 : 11:12:12 AM
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--You go into a nice guitar shop, tune to Taro patch, and start to play, and even the 19 year old metal shredders stop and look with wide eyes and open mouths
--Someone offers you a "G-string" and you don't think of risque lingerie, at least not at first
--CSI: Honolulu analyzes your fretboard and finds traces of poi
--You buy cars more often than you buy strings
--You pontificate for hours on the meaning of one of the songs you just learned
Have a great one, fellow slackers!
-Lance
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"Hey Lance, try watch." -Ozzie |
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cpatch
Ahonui
USA
2187 Posts |
Posted - 02/08/2007 : 11:31:56 AM
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-- A significant number of songs you know have apostrophes in the title that don't indicate possession or contraction.
-- You know the correct name for these apostrophes. |
Craig
My goal is to be able to play as well as people think I can. |
Edited by - cpatch on 02/08/2007 11:32:42 AM |
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Admin
Pupule
USA
4551 Posts |
Posted - 02/08/2007 : 12:25:33 PM
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* Your instruments have mana and you've given each one a Hawaiian name.
* You're a full grown adult who cannot wait for the next "summer camp."
* Nearly every song you write has the word "slack" in the title.
* You seat yourself in the first 5 rows of every slack key concert and stare at the guitarist's fingers instead of the hula dancer.
* You consider going to a slack key festival "going to see your friends."
* For us mainlanders, you have driven more than 4 hours to see Hawaiian music.
* Uncle Dennis Kamakaki* thinks you are stalking him. (Insert your favorite slack key artist and adjust gender appropriately)
* You know what kind of instrument each artist plays, what tunings they play, and where they were born. Stalker! |
Andy |
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thumbstruck
Ahonui
USA
2165 Posts |
Posted - 02/08/2007 : 1:28:01 PM
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If you realize that music is more than the notes of the tune and the words of the song.
If you understand the importance of hanging out and talking story. |
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